October 2 - A Tribute to Family

Tomorrow is October 2, 2010.

Tomorrow marks the second anniversary of Cooper legally becoming a part of our family.

It would also be my dad's 72nd birthday.

I thought I would share with you a couple of posts I wrote back in April & May. A special tribute to the history of this day in our family.

October 2  (Repost)

My Cooper came home in November of 2007. Thanksgiving that year was amazing, full of family, love and joy at this new arrival. My dad, who had been very sick for several years, had a great day, and was so excited to meet his grandson, who was just ten weeks old. My dad died just five weeks later.

Cooper with Grandpa & Gram on Day 1

Fast forward to September of 2008. I was preparing to sign adoption papers, to finalize Cooper's adoption. The attorney called me to set up a time for the court finalization. The day it would all be official. No more court dates. No more Social Worker visits. No more sitting on pins and needles waiting, hoping, praying. She told me I could request a date that would work for us, or that was significant to me. Her exact words were, "If you wanted, say, October 2, we could ask for that." My heart skipped a beat, and I felt my face get hot, as tears filled my eyes.

October 2 was my dad's birthday.

My dad and me on his birthday10 years ago.

I slowly asked her why she mentioned that date. She told me it was her son's birthday. I said, "That's the day I want. That was my dad's birthday and he died shortly after meeting Cooper."

The Attorney was quiet for a moment, then said, "I'll do everything I can to request that date."

Grandpa & Cooper watching Ducks Hockey

A few weeks later, I received a letter in the mail, stating that our court date was indeed scheduled for October 2. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. This would be the first birthday since he died, and what could have been a day to mourn, became a day to dance. I couldn't think of a more perfect way to honor my dad.

On October 2, I cried again, as the judge said that he was mine. Forever mine. I cried happy tears for us, and for my dad, who I know was with us that day. We'll celebrate that day every year, and it will not only be about how we became a family, but about sharing with Cooper about his Grandpa, and how much he loved him.

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven: 

a time to be born and a time to die...

a time to mourn and a time to dance..." Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Signed, Sealed, Finalized!  (Repost)

There are many important dates in an adoption:

"Gotcha" Day (as some refer to the day you bring your child home)

The .26 Hearing (the day parental rights of the natural parents are terminated)

The Signing (the day legal papers are signed before the adoption can be finalized)

The Finalization (The final court hearing when the child is legally yours) 

These are the most memorable for me, although every adoptive parent has their own. I've shared before about the importance of the date I chose for our finalization, but today I'm going to talk a little bit about the day itself.

I don't remember what time we got to the courthouse, or how long it took to get inside. I don't remember much of what the judge or the attorney said. It was an overwhelming day; I was overwhelmed with the feelings and emotions of exactly what that day meant.

I had heard stories about adoptive parents getting emotional during their finalization hearing, and I was determined to keep myself together. The judge asked if I agreed to “bestow upon him all the rights of a natural-born child?” With a lump in my throat, I nodded, yes. Then he told me we were bound together forever as parent and child, and the tears came. Nearly seven years of agony were over. I was a mother in every sense of the word.

This is the only picture I have of us with the judge. Sorry, the lighting was terrible...

There is something inherently different about adoption - with childbirth, no one asks you if you promise to love and keep your child, but with adoption, you make a verbal and legally binding commitment to the child whom you have chosen to parent.  You stand before a judge, and numerous other county employees, and make a conscious decision to take on the responsibility of the life another human being.

It was the greatest, most selfless thing I have ever done.

Words That Matter

I've been finding a lot of meaningful quotes lately, that I would love to put up all around my house, as small reminders of what's most important in my life. My son, my family, my faith. Since I really don't have the wall space to keep adding framed words, I thought I would begin sharing them here.

Im thinking that each week, I will share a new quote and why it's meaningful to me. I would love to hear how it touches you as well.

I saw this quote on the adoption blog Grown in My Heart the other day...

Christopher Robin looked long and hard at Pooh's face.

"Are you learning me by heart?" asked Pooh.

"No," he answered, "I know you by heart. You are inside my heart."

-A.A. Milne

Oh yeah, this one got me. Actually, a lot of A.A. Milne's words get to me, but this one more than others.

"I know you by heart. You are inside my heart."

That pretty much sums up what adoption means to me. My son is a part of me, and I him. We are not connected by biology, but by our hearts. And there is no stronger bond than the bond of love.

Immortalized on Page 211

That's what Rick said when he finished reading my adoption story in the recently published book "From the Heart: Stories From the Front Lines of Parenting."

I was so thrilled and honored to be a part of this amazing compilation of unique stories, written by real parents. I was not only able to share my own, very real, story, but also the difficult and rewarding journey of adoption.

For more information, or to purchase the book, click here. All proceeds benefit children's charities.

Microwave Banana Bread

I know that some of you cringed when reading that title. So did I, at the thought of it. But it's hot today. Like, really hot. Too hot for the oven. And even if it wasn't too hot for the oven, my oven is broken.

So what do you do when you have brown bananas and no oven? You make microwave banana bread!

I have had my Tupperware Oval Microcooker for nearly 10 years, and I love it!

I don't use it nearly as often as I should, but there's really a lot you can do with it. I have made chicken enchiladas, rotiserrie chicken, and a German Chocolate Cake that frosts itself. I steam vegetables and cook ground beef/turkey in it as well. So, I figured I could make a banana bread in it too!

Success!

MICROWAVE BANANA BREAD

1 1/2.c flour

3/4 c. sugar

1/2 c. plus 2 tbsp. soft butter

1/3 c. milk

2 eggs

2 med. bananas, sliced or mashed

1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. pumkin pie spice
1/2 tsp. salt

Combine ingredients in order given. Mix well. Lightly butter a microwave pan. Sprinkle with remaining nuts. Pour in batter. Cook for 7 to 9 minutes on full power or until done. Let stand 5 minutes before turning out of pan.

You could of course us any microwavable pan. I'm actually thinking of using coffee mugs next time and making muffins!

My Potluck Go-To Pasta Salad

A friend gave me this recipe years ago, and it has been my go-to for potlucks ever since. It's super easy, and can be thrown together in practically the amount of time it takes to boil a pound of pasta.

Killer Pasta Salad
1 lb of your favorite pasta (I use Tri-Color Rotini)
Italian Dressing (about 2/3 of the bottle to your taste)
2 Tbls of McCormick Suddenly Salad Seasoning
1 English Cucumber
1 pack Grape Tomatoes
1 can Black Olives
Grated Parmesan Cheese (the fresh works best)

Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain into a colander and rinse under cold water. Pour pasta into a bowl. Pour Italian Dressing over the top and add the seasoning, diced veggies, and some of the cheese. Refrigerate overnight if possible (it helps the pasta to absorb the flavor and make it even more KILLER). Before serving, add more dressing if needed, and sprinkle cheese on top.

Birthday Parties at Goofy's Kitchen

One of the greatest things about Disneyland is getting to meet the characters, and the best way to do this, is through a Character Dining Experience. Within the Disneyland Resort, there are multiple opportunities, both in the parks and at each of the hotels:

Disney's California Adventure: Ariel's Grotto
Disneyland: Plaza Inn
Disneyland Hotel: Goofy's Kitchen
Paradise Pier Hotel: PCH Grill
Grand Californian Hotel: Storyteller's Cafe

My mother started a tradition with Cooper's first birthday to take him to Goofy's Kitchen, a Character dining Experience at the Disneyland Hotel, where you join Chef Goofy, and a whole cast of other characters (this changes daily). This was our third year visiting, and we all had a fabulous time.

As you enter the restaurant, you're greeted by Pluto and have a chance for a few photos with your whole party (make sure to have them take photos with your camera, as well as theirs). Later, during your meal, get your cameras ready as you are visited by several different characters, including Chef Goofy!

The great thing about character dining experiences is that each of the characters (there are usually five) comes to your table and interacts with children and adults alike, signing autograph books, and posing for pictures. We had a few that spent quite a lot of time with us.

The buffet style food was A-MA-ZING! From prime rib, to Pork Loin, to Leg of Lamb, Rock Shrimp Pasta, Pot Stickers, a fabulous salad bar and amazing desserts, the food certainly did not disappoint. The kids food buffet consisted of Peanut Butter Pizza, Macaroni & Cheese Pizza, as well as other traditional pizza flavors, Hot Dogs, Macaroni and Cheese, Popcorn Shrimp, and Spaghetti & Meatballs. They were busy so I didn't get any photos of the food.

Birthdays are celebrated almost every ten minutes it seems, as this is the perfect place for a celebration! Adults and children alike all were sporting "Happy Birthday" buttons.

Free of charge, the birthday boy or girl receives a birthday button, a card signed by many of their favorite characters, and a cupcake. Some of the wait staff and one or two characters will also join your table to sing happy birthday.

Each of the characters in the restaurant that night came around and spent several minutes with us, playing with the kids and posing for photo ops. We met Chef Goofy, Minnie, Snow White, Jasmine and Chip!

At $31.99 for adults and $13.99 for children, it's a little pricey, but you're getting great food and a truly unique dining experience. I just love this tradition, it gives Cooper a chance to celebrate his birthday with the people he loves the most, and a chance for a more intimate party before the big blow-out (read all about his carnival birthday party here). Life should be celebrated, and when this family celebrates, we go all out!

Goofy's Kitchen is the only one of the five character dining experiences that offers lunch and dinner. the other restaurants offer a Brunch and prices are roughly $24-$25 per person, and $12-$13 for children. Children under three years are free.

When planning your visit to the Disneyland Resort, remember to make Priority Seating requests by calling Disney Dining (714-781-DINE). You can call up to 60+ days in advance.

Defining Friendship

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, and what it means to be a friend.

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

-Kahlil Gibran

I am what you could call selectively social. That is, in my private life, I have a few, intense, long-time friends rather than a vast collection of "networks." Some formative experiences caused me to be rather slow to trust and so, even people who consider me their friend often don't know a good part of who I am for a very long time, if ever.

I have been fortunate enough to collect friends over the years. I have a dear friend from Jr. High, a few from my high school and college years, my church friends and colleagues, my adoptive moms group, and a few friends I have met under random circumstances. These are friendships of all different levels. Only one of these friends knows the deepest levels of me. With her I can share anything and everything, the good, the bad, the ugly and the truly insane. The others know only the parts of me that I choose to share. Does that make them any less of a friend? Of course not, they just haven't uncovered all of the levels.

So what makes a true friend?

A true friend loves at all times, despite my faults. She listens and cares for me always, and hurts when I hurt.  She is there for me when I need her, when at all possible. A true friend lets you be yourself and accepts you for who you are. A true friend works to learn who the real you is.

True friendship is being able to confide in a friend, trust them with your secrets, trust that they have your best interests at heart. True friendship is being able to tell a friend when they've hurt you. True friendship is knowing when to say "I'm sorry."

I recently confided in a friend that she had hurt me. She, in turn, was hurt by what I said. In both cases, it was the presentations and deliveries that were the most detrimental, not the intentions behind them. What does this say about our friendship? Does it mean that we were truly never friends? On the contrary, there would be no hurt if there wasn't a deep friendship. Can this friendship be mended? I hope so, but time will tell.

I hope that I am the kind of friend that I want to have, and who is all of these things. I know that sometimes I fail. Miserably.

I am a friend who will do anything, go anywhere. When a friend is hurting, I hurt. I keep confidences. And when I let you in to my heart, you are there for good.

What is your definition of friendship?