I Love You Mama

We were on our way home from preschool today, and Cooper was buckled in his carseat, reading the new borrowed books he had just received as part of their "Raising a Reader" Program. He was telling tales of the pictures he saw, and gently pushing my seat with his feet.

As we were pulling into the driveway, he looked up and said "I love you Mama," and went back to talking about his book.

That moment took my breath away.

My son has a very tender heart inside his very active body. He is stubborn and willful and loud. He runs from me at bath time, then screams that he doesn't want to get out. He climbs out of bed five times before finally settling down for the night. He refuses to eat his dinner and deliberately throws playdough on the floor. 

The past several weeks have been rough with this little boy. He is struggling with independence, and I am struggling for control. Through it all I have moments when I question the sanity of my choice.

But at that moment, all of that melted away and my heart swelled as a wave of joy washed over me. I was reminded of why I am a mother. 

I looked at my son in the rearview mirror and was taken back for a moment at just how big he is getting. He used to look so small in that carseat, his toes barely reaching the edge. Now his blonde curls are peaking out over the top and his legs are kicking my seat. The little baby sounds he used to make have been replaced with tales of dinosaurs and dragons. I realize that he is growing up and soon enough he won't be there, and that awareness makes me cherish these moments even more.