Betty Crocker Wannabe has MOVED! I am now blogging solely at A Simply Klassic Home. I am still sharing printables, party ideas, and other inspiration. It's much more streamlined and clean. I hope you will stop by and say follow along there! I have lots of ideas for new printables coming this holiday season!!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Before I Was a Mom

I am generally confident that I am a good mother. I'm not perfect, but I think I'm doing a good job. I am fairly secure in my role and in the way I mother my son.

But then there are days like today...the days when my patience is wearing thin and I feel like I'm about to lose my head. My son is two and a half, and he wants so desperately to have independance, to show me he can dress himself, put on his shoes, when all I want is to get us out of the house in the morning! He wants to be near me, and I mean RIGHT next to me, when all I want is five minutes of peace. It seems to take forever to get us out of the house sometimes, and then I'm late to work and just so frustrated. Sometimes I wonder, what was I thinking, that I could be a single mom???

In the evenings, on the weekends, it's the same thing, he just wants to be near me, play with me, hug on me, love on me. "Mommy, sit down." "Honey, I will in a minute, Mommy's making dinner" "Mommy has to do the dishes," "Mommy's gotta do this first..."

And still he tries, until finally I sit down and play with him for the 20 minutes I have left before his bath.

Lately, the guilt is overpowering. I am not the best mom I can be all of the time. By telling my son, I need to finish all of these other things first, I'm telling him that these things are more important than he is. And that is going to change. Today. I'm going to play with my son, all night long. I'm going to love on him, kiss him, hug him, until he begs me to stop, because one day he won't le me kiss him, or hug him, and all I will have are the memories of this one childhood.

We get one chance to mother our children, these precious gifts from God, and I'm going to take full advantage of it. It's time to live in the moment. The dishes can wait, I've got a Lego castle to build.

I received this in an email today. I've read it before, but it really hit home today. Being a mother is the single, most important thing that has ever happened to me.

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot the words to a lullaby.

I did not worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.

And I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
Wiped on.

I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.

I slept all through the night.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.

I never really looked into little teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple silly grin.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I did not want to put him down.

I never felt my heart break
When I could not stop the little hurts.

I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.

Before I was a Mom,
I did not know the feeling of a bond
between a mother and her child.

I never knew that my child could
make me feel so important and happy.

I never knew how much I would love being a Mom.


Cheryl D. said...

What a beautiful post. I think it's great that you sometimes take the time to make you son a priority! He'll remember that. It's okay to sometimes do the dishes too! It's a lesson in life that everyone needs to learn.

vixbeth said...

Sweetie, as mothers, we both know there are going to be days like today, probably many, but thank God we wake up the next day and realize that we are good mothers doing the best that we can. You are NOT teaching your son that he doesn't come first, you are teaching him about responsibility and finishing what we start. He knows you love him, you show him every day by cooking his meals and cleaning his clothes as well as all the hugs and kisses and cuddles. This is your guilt and your fears and doubts, not his, he doesn't even think that way yet, (thank God again). I know we've never met and I don't know you, but I think all mothers have these same fears and doubts and the fact that you have them is what makes you a good mother. I hope you have a better day tomorrow and realize what a good job you really are doing. Take care and God Bless.

Jenn @ Delicious Ambiguity said...

What a beautiful post. I feel exactly the same way. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I hope you'll come by and add up some links on my Tot Tuesday Party! Have a great week!

Stacey said...

Yes, yes, yes!

Love it.

The Lazy Mom
visiting via Lazy Wed Walk from

Linda said...

And you are so cute...and so is your little guy! Blessings to you as you make time for all of those special moments together.

Jenilee said...

LOVE LOVE your post. Thanks for linking it up. What a wonderful reminder for all of us moms who tend to push things in front of our kids, forgetting for that moment how important our kids really are! nice to hear from you this week!

Jenilee said...

loved this post so much I just linked to it on my blog :) it made my sister, who is a new mom cry when I emailed it to her. :) thanks again for posting it!

Elizabeth said...

This was such a timely reminder for me...I know what you are feeling! Thanks for this post!!

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