Navigating The Foster Care System

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on the foster care system or adoption. I can only share my own thoughts based on my own experiences. The purpose is simply to bring awareness to foster care and adoption during National Adoption Month.

First of all, what is foster care? Foster care is a temporary home for a child who cannot live with their birth family. A foster parent is a mother or father to a child in need of love and security. Foster parents provide what cannot be bought - love, concern, safety and understanding. Foster parents are married, single, separated, divorced or living with a partner. They are working parents and homemakers.

A Foster Parent is someone who

   • wants to make a difference in the life of a family.
   • can make room in their home and heart for children who need temporary care.
   • is flexible and capable of handling stressful situations.
   • can work as a member of a team with families, social workers and other professionals.
   • can help prepare a child for return to their birth family or to be adopted.
   • may become an adoptive parent.

Entering the foster care system, I wasn't really sure what to expect. As a child, I had known families who were foster parents, but really didn't know much about the system itself. When my life took an unexpected turn and I was faced with minimal choices for parenthood, I chose foster care adoption for two reasons: affordability, and guarantee.

The entire licensing process took about eight months.

First up was an informational class, in which they talked about what to expect in the system, why children enter the system, and the basic requirements of those becoming licensed foster parents.

The next step was training classes. Think "Social Services 101." The purpose of the training is to prepare the prospective foster parents in their new role, guiding them through the issues they will be dealing with as a foster parent. Classes met twice a week for six weeks.

During training, I was required to produce various documents, including, medical forms, birth certificates, and proof of income. There was homework, articles to read, extensive paperwork to fill out, and an essay to write.

We were able to network with other potential parents, meet several social workers, and even have a chance to meet foster and adoptive parents and foster children who had aged out of the system. It was amazing to get all of the different perspectives they offered. There were also two eight hour Saturday classes specific to adoption.

Once the classes were completed, it was time to prepare for the homestudy. Dun-dun-dun!

It's actually not as scary as people think it is. A Social Worker is assigned to you, and they stay with you through the entire process, so you really get to know them and it's wonderful to have them on your side. She was there when my first foster child left, and she was there in the courtroom the day my son's adoption was finalized.

For the Homestudy, there are several things required in order to get your home ready. Making your house appear as though it belongs in a magazine, however, is not one of them. I, along with most who go through this process, was so nervous about the homestudy, making sure my home was spotless. It was pretty much a waste of time to dust the top of the fridge and scrub the inside of the cabinets, because she didn't check them. They will give you a list of things, like having fire extinguishers, putting cleaning supplies & knives up high, and making sure your pool is gated. Clean your house, of course, but show quality is not what they are looking for.

Once the homestudy was complete, I just had to wait for approval, which took about two weeks. I was approved and in matching by mid-September 2006. I brought my son home in November of 2008. You can read all about what happened during that time here.

There are many different types of licenses, including Emergency Shelter Housing (ESH) (less than 30 days), foster care (children are expected to be returned to their birth families), and concurrent planning (or foster to adopt) (it it unlikely children will be returned to their birth families and will likely be available for adoption).

The process is not simple or easy, but the rewards truly outweigh the costs.

Have questions on the foster care process? Feel free to ask them here or email me at coopsmommy07 (at) aol (dot) com.

Next week, I will talk about what I have learned about adoptees, including what I've been accused of by an adoptee who read a comment I made on an adoption website.

The Grandma-To-Be Party!

The Grandma-to-be party was a huge success and I'm so excited to share it with you all! The wind kicked up and it turned a bit chilly, but we managed to keep the rain away and everyone had a great time. The Grandma-to-be was very honored and blessed by gifts from friends helping her to stock her house for when her new granddaughter comes to visit (which will be often!).

The theme of the party was loosely based around "Little Red Riding Hood" or "To Grandmother's House..." with lots of red & white gingham and burlap, and touches of aqua.

To announce the party, we sent out invitations, including cards explaining the idea behind the gifts, and asking guests to fill out an advice card for the new Grandma.

We collected the advice cards at the party and put them together in a small photo album, which will eventually include photos from the party.

And now, welcome to the party!!

We had lots of homemade treats, just like Little Red did - cupcakes, pies, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate dipped pretzel rods.

We also had sweet treats like gumdrops, licorice, and other red candies.

Plates and silverware were placed in a picnic basket (think Little Red had one like this?).

For the decor we wanted to create a rustic, woodsy feel, so we used lots of burlap for the tablecloths (hint: this was $10 for a 24' roll at Home Depot!). The centerpieces were tall glass vases with Myrtle and curly willow (thanks Kat!!)

I used a manzanita branch decorated with red & aqua gingham bunting in a silver bucket for the centerpiece for the Grandma-to-be and Mom-to-be's table. We also covered the chairs for their table with red and white gingham fabric.

Gifts were collected in an old wheelbarrow covered with the fabric.

We played a few typical "baby" games (baby word scramble and baby animals).

Each guest got a small gift as they left. Tiny picnic baskets filled with white chocolate covered rice krispie treats.

(Picnic baskets came from Michaels)

So there you have it, the Grandma-to-be party. A lot of people have said, "I've never heard of that!" so I hope this has maybe sparked a few ideas for anyone out there with a grandma-to-be in their life, to honor them as well.

Pottery Barn Inspired Empty Frame Art & Card Display

I think we have created a monster.

I picked up a paintbrush for the first time in years. And I liked it. a lot. In fact, I've been wandering the halls of my house warning the mismatched picture frames that they're next.

As soon as I saw the Pottery Barn catalog that came out a few weeks ago, I started ripping pictures from it, storing ideas of things I wanted to knock-off for Christmas decor. I shared some of those ideas here.

This was one of them:

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But with a hefty $200 price tag, I knew it was something I would never own. Then I looked to my right and saw a picture frame hanging on the wall. Sure, it had a picture in it, but this frame was just begging to be transformed. So I did.

I am so excited about how this project turned out. It's the first "big" project I've taken on in a long time.

Here's the original 16" x 20" frame:

First I sanded it down, not wanting to completely lose the dark color.

Next, I painted the frame Cottage White. I used a couple coats of Behr's Primer Paint (I actually bought a sample size for $2.94) and it worked great!

Once it was dry, I distressed the frame using both coarse and medium sandpaper.

Then I was ready to attach the wires. I purchased a picture hook kit at Home Depot that included picture wire, sawtooth hangers, picture hooks, and screw eyes for around $4.

I screwed in the eyes evenly spaced on the back of the frame.

Then I doubled up the picture wire, looped it through the eye and twisted it to secure it, making sure to hold it as tight as possible.

I kept the original hanger, and just screwed it back into the frame high enough and tight enough that once it was hanging it wouldn't be seen.

I hung it on the wall, and stood back to admire my work!

The entire project cost me about $7 for the paint and the picture hook kit. That's $193 cheaper than Pottery Barn!!

My original intention was to use it to display Christmas cards.

But then I thought it might be a great thing to leave up year round to use as holiday decor throughout the seasons.

I think that my favorite idea though, is to just hang a few black & whites on it.

What would you display?

Make sure to check back on 11/11 when I'll be posting a GIVEAWAY for personalized printables!


Linking to these great parties!

Considering Foster Care Adoption

In celebration of National Adoption Month, I am planning a few posts on the topic of adoption, specifically adoption from foster care, since that is where I have experience myself. I do not consider myself a spokesperson or an expert by any means, but I am certainly an advocate.

I'm guessing that someone you know has adopted a child or was adopted themselves. I can name four adults off the top of my head who are close friends or family who were adopted. All of their experiences were vastly different, from the age at which they were adopted to the reasons leading up to termination of parental rights. I also know numerous families that have adopted children. Again, there are many different circumstances leading up to their adoptions. In both my adult adoptee friends, and families with adopted children, there are several who went through the foster care system.

Children in foster care are removed from their natural parents for numerous reasons, most often neglect or abuse. In many of these cases, there is no one in the child's natural family to care for them, either because they are not able, or not fit. While many are removed as infants, there are even more older children who are removed. Nearly 425,000 children are in the United States Foster Care system today, and 115,000 are currently available for adoption, meaning the rights of the natural parents have been terminated due mostly to abuse or neglect.

More children become available for adoption each year than are adopted. Some children wait three years or more to be adopted, often moving numerous times to different foster homes and group homes. The older a waiting child is, the less their chance for being adopted and having a permanent home and family.

I chose adoption through foster care because it was the more affordable option for me, and the most likely, considering I was adopting as a single parent. Most child welfare agencies cover the costs of homestudies and court fees, and offer a monthly stipend plus free medical insurance until the child is 18, as well as reimbursements for some costs before the adoption is finalized. Some employers offer reimbursements for costs and paid leave, and let's not forget the federal/state tax credits.

I believe with all my heart that adoption is truly a gift, to both parent and child. It's not about giving a child a better life, or about infertile parents begging for a child, or at least it shouldn't be. In fact, it's not really about the adoptive parents at all. It's about giving a child who needs it, a loving, nurturing, permanent home, which every child deserves.

For more information on how you can become qualified for foster care adoption, contact your local Social Services Agency.

Links and Resources:
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
National Adoption Day

Presidential Proclamation for National Adoption Month

Do you have any questions about foster care adoption, my personal adoption experience or a suggestion for a topic during National Adoption Month? Leave me a comment or email me at coopsmommy07 (at) aol (dot) com.

Christmas Inspiration, or, Too Many Ideas Swirrling Around My Head

Halloween is barely over, but I've been thinking about my Christmas inspiration for a few weeks. ( I realize that some people do this all year long, but I'm not one of those people).  I've decided that I don't want to buy any new decor this year, rather I would like to make some. I also plan to make most of my gifts for friends and Cooper's teachers. I've been scouring the internet, trying to get some ideas of some projects I'd like to complete, and I thought I'd share a few with you...

Home decor:

All of the above images are from Pottery Barn

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Centerpieces for the Christmas party we're hosting: 

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Christmas gifts for Cooper's teachers:

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Be watching in the coming weeks to see my take on all of these projects. Hopefully my oven will be fixed soon, because I have an amazing Cinnamon Chocolate Christmas cookie to share with you as well!

Where do you get your inspiration for the holidays?

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Did you know that November is National Adoption month? I'll be revisiting some of my old posts, and I have a few new ones in the works, so stay tuned!

How We Spent Our Halloween Weekend

Our Halloween festivities began on Thursday night with pumpkin carving.

Cooper had a bit of a meltdown so there aren't many pictures of the actual carving.

But I do have a fabulous before and after for you!

Before:

After:

On Saturday, Cooper's preschool hosted a "Fun Fest" carnival. I had a photo booth and took hay bale photos for eight tickets a pop.

On the BIG day, Cooper FINALLY got to get all decked out in his costume.

The cutest Woody you've ever seen right?

We knocked on exactly three doors in our neighborhood. Not because that's all we wanted to do, but that's how many participate on our happy little cul-de-sac.

We spent the rest of the evening at a carnival at Rick's daughter's church. We played games, and got lots of candy and cute prizes.

The vendors were really great with this little guy, even helping him "win."

We had a wonderfully busy weekend, although I am truly exhausted today.

Now it's on to planning for the next big holiday - BLACK FRIDAY!! Oops, I mean Thanksgiving...

Remember these marshmallow pumpkins? Well I've been coming up with some ideas for Thanksgiving and Christmas marshmallows, so stick around!

This weekend is the Grandma-to-be party I told you about here. I'll have a post on that next week. 

See, I told you there was lots going on around here! See you soon!!