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Today is National Adoption Day

Today also happens to be our own personal adoption day, or "Gotcha Day." It was the day I held my son in my arms for the first time. It was the first time I was called "Mom." The first time I felt there was something in this world that was bigger than me. The first time my life truly revolved around another human being. It was the first time I could say I was truly living the life I was destined to live.

I thought it fitting that I share a post I wrote a while back, about this very day, three years ago...

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I've shared various parts of my adoption story; how I came to choose adoption, our finalization day and choosing the date, and some of the steps along the way. Today, I'd like to share the most precious story of our journey.

The day we met.

November, 2007

I was waiting for the phone call, the one that said my baby was ready for me.

At birth, my son had been placed with a wonderful foster mother who had taken great care of him for the first nine weeks of his life. I had already had the presentation, received photos, and waited on pins and needles while a judge decided my child's fate.

I received the call from my Social Worker on November 19, saying that we were clear, and I could finally meet my baby. The plan was for me to go and visit with him the next day, on a Tuesday evening, and come back to pick him up and take him home the following day.

Monday night was filled with much preparation and anticipation. I washed bedding, set up the nursery, and bought an infant car seat and a few outfits, including a "Baby's First Thanksgiving" outfit, since the holiday was just three days away. My purchases were still in my car when I went to visit the foster mom's house the next day.

I barely slept that night, and just plowed through work the next day, as it was really NOT where I wanted to be. I even agonized over what to wear, because, you know, first impressions and all.

The thirty minute car ride to the foster mother's house, I just kept telling myself to breathe. I was about to meet my child for the first time.

When I pulled up, I realized my Social Worker wasn't there yet, and I was 20 minutes early. My heart was racing as I walked up the pathway to the front door and rang the bell.

A child answered, and went to get her mother, who came down the hall with an infant wrapped in a soft blue and white striped blanket. Tears filled my eyes as she placed the baby in my arms. 

"Here's your baby," she said, smiling; and to my son, "Meet your Mama."

I just held him and looked at him for the next 30 minutes until the Social Workers arrived. Like I mentioned, the plan was that this would be just a visit and I would come back and pick him up the next evening. The foster mom questioned the Social worker, "Why can't she just take him home tonight?"

I don't think I took a breath for the next minute while the Social Workers pondered her suggestion.

"I guess that would be ok." That's when my mind started racing. Could I really do this alone? "Do you have a car seat?"

I told the Social Worker I had purchased the car seat, but hadn't even taken it out of the box yet. That had been on tonight's agenda! They set it all up for me while I just got to hold my baby.

I signed the paperwork, gathered up his belongings, said goodbye to the Social Workers and hugged the foster mom. We were off to start our lives together.

I remember praying in my heart as I secured him in the car, asking God for guidance, and above all thanking him for the most precious gift of my life.

We Have Allergies

I finally took the plunge and had allergy skin tests performed on Cooper last week. It was awful.

I had to hold my baby down while they poked him in the back with needles 22 times.

He kicked, he cried, he screamed "Please stop!" I tried really hard not to do the same. It was heart-wrenching.

Then I had to keep him from itching his back as welts started appearing almost immediately.

On a scale of one to five, he scored a four on peanuts, walnuts, eggs, shellfish, cats, dogs, dust mites and mold. He also had significant reactions to sesame and a few other things.

They made me watch a video on dust mites. I came home and, feeling like the worst mother in the world, stripped the kids' bedroom of every sheet, blanket, and curtain and washed them all, vacuuming and cleaning as best as I could. They also sent me home with inhalers, and other asthma medication, as it's presumed that he may have asthma as well.

I suppose the best thing out of all of this, is that now we know. Not having any family history as a guide, I never knew if there was a higher risk with any of the more common allergens.

We are now in a period of adjustment. This week has been completely overwhelming for me, and every little thing seems to send me into a tailspin. My body is reacting to the stress worse than it ever has. On top of all of the allergy testing, we were down to one car this week and had a huge repair bill we had to take care of, plus added stress at work and numerous other incidentals.

I guess I'm angry. I'm angry that I had to subject my son to such painful testing. I'm angry that I have no family history to fall back on. I'm angry that I never took his "dislike" or certain foods seriously. I'm angry that we are now having to change our lifestyles to accommodate all of these allergies. I'm angry that he will now be labeled as "that kid" in his class.

We went to a party today and the host had made cake pops for the kids to eat instead of having a large cake. Cooper chose one and started to eat it. After a minute he came back to me and said, "Mommy, I don't like peanut butter." His mouth started to hurt and his throat was itchy, but thankfully, a little Benadryl got him feeling better. I assumed the host knew and I hadn't even thought to ask what was in them. I'm angry at myself for that too.

Like I said, we are in a period of adjustment, but I'm faithful that God is walking beside, holding my hand and wiping my tears. The cake pop incident was a wake up call for me, and I know now that I have to be on top of my game all of the time.

I Love You Mama

We were on our way home from preschool today, and Cooper was buckled in his carseat, reading the new borrowed books he had just received as part of their "Raising a Reader" Program. He was telling tales of the pictures he saw, and gently pushing my seat with his feet.

As we were pulling into the driveway, he looked up and said "I love you Mama," and went back to talking about his book.

That moment took my breath away.

My son has a very tender heart inside his very active body. He is stubborn and willful and loud. He runs from me at bath time, then screams that he doesn't want to get out. He climbs out of bed five times before finally settling down for the night. He refuses to eat his dinner and deliberately throws playdough on the floor. 

The past several weeks have been rough with this little boy. He is struggling with independence, and I am struggling for control. Through it all I have moments when I question the sanity of my choice.

But at that moment, all of that melted away and my heart swelled as a wave of joy washed over me. I was reminded of why I am a mother. 

I looked at my son in the rearview mirror and was taken back for a moment at just how big he is getting. He used to look so small in that carseat, his toes barely reaching the edge. Now his blonde curls are peaking out over the top and his legs are kicking my seat. The little baby sounds he used to make have been replaced with tales of dinosaurs and dragons. I realize that he is growing up and soon enough he won't be there, and that awareness makes me cherish these moments even more.

Winnie the Pooh Life Lesson No. 2

"And by and by Christopher Robin came to an end of things, and was silent, and he sat there, looking out over the world, just wishing it wouldn't stop."

-A. A. Milne

The Winnie the Pooh series by A. A. Milne is such an amazing collection of life lessons that are relatable to people of all ages. This particular quote talks of change, of moving on, of growing up. Christopher Robin had Pooh as a child, and when he gew up and went off to school, he outgrew Pooh.

When I watched my son walk off to preschool for the first time, I couldn't believe it was really THAT time. That he had grown up to be a strong, independent, tender, loving three year old. Time just seems to go by faster when you have children.

Sometimes, I wish he was still the sweet little infant I used to rock to sleep with "Baby Mine." But now he sings it to me.

Sometimes I wish I could have held him just a little bit longer. But those grip your neck, knock you down hugs sure are pretty sweet.

Sometimes I wish it was easier, because that independent three year old can sure push my buttons. But he can sure make my heart swell too.

Sometimes I long for the spontaneous trips I used to take. But then I remember, that for the last three years, home is my favorite place to be.

Change is a part of life. It's almost always hard. But sometimes, change is good.

Words That Matter

I've been finding a lot of meaningful quotes lately, that I would love to put up all around my house, as small reminders of what's most important in my life. My son, my family, my faith. Since I really don't have the wall space to keep adding framed words, I thought I would begin sharing them here.

Im thinking that each week, I will share a new quote and why it's meaningful to me. I would love to hear how it touches you as well.

I saw this quote on the adoption blog Grown in My Heart the other day...

Christopher Robin looked long and hard at Pooh's face.

"Are you learning me by heart?" asked Pooh.

"No," he answered, "I know you by heart. You are inside my heart."

-A.A. Milne

Oh yeah, this one got me. Actually, a lot of A.A. Milne's words get to me, but this one more than others.

"I know you by heart. You are inside my heart."

That pretty much sums up what adoption means to me. My son is a part of me, and I him. We are not connected by biology, but by our hearts. And there is no stronger bond than the bond of love.

Love Like Crazy

Today my son is three years old. He is spunky, stubborn, loving, curious, loud, smart, energetic, funny and charming. I can't imagine a love bigger than the love I have for him.

Happy Birthday Cooper! Today we celebrate you, and the beautiful child you are.

"Be a best friend, tell the truth, overuse 'I Love You,' go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense, never let your prayin' knees get lazy, and love like crazy!"

The following pictures are from Cooper's Three Year Photo Shoot by Rick Maxwell Photography, aka "The Man" :)

Cooper's Carnival Birthday Party Sneak Peak!

The big day is almost here! We're on countdown around here with just three short days to go. Cooper's getting so excited...we had his buddy Gracie's birthday party last weekend, and he's been asking ever since "When's my party???" Lucky for him, they're a week apart so he doesn't have to wait long!

My baby was pretty sick earlier this week, but thankfully is feeling better...now it seems as though it's my turn, as I'm starting to feel a bit mousy. AND with only three days on the big birthday countdown, this is NOT a good thing! Say a little prayer for me, would you?

So, I know you didn't come here for the commentary, so I'll give you a little sneak peek at what I've been up to...

Come back next week to see how we pull it all together!

Simple Back to School Teacher Gifts!

When I taught preschool, close to 9 years ago, it was the little ways parents showed their appreciation for us, that really touched my heart. I decided long ago that when my children went to school, the teachers would always know how much I appreciated the hard work and dedication they put into their field.

My little guy starts "real" preschool on Monday. Over the summer he attended their summer program, but tomorrow he's in a regular classroom with his regular teacher for the whole year. I always used to think that I couldn't wait for him to start preschool, meeting new friends, bring home art projects and ouch reports. Well, I changed my mind. I can wait. Really, I can!

The past few weeks, I've been up to my eyeballs in birthday party planning, so I knew I wouldn't have much time to get things ready for his first day.

I decided to put together a few little gifts for his teachers and the staff at his preschool. It's a small school, just 10 staff members.

Here's what I decided to do:

"Apples for the Teachers"

I just wanted to do something very simple for the whole staff. I decided to give them a little healthy snack, since I know how long those first few days of school can be.

I used google search to find a cute clipart apple and I created a simple notecard in publisher:

I also included a hand written note inside, wishing them all blessings on the first day of school and through the year.

For Cooper's teachers, and the director, I put some small bottles of hand sanitizer and a few chocolates in a small bag and tied it with the same little note card, including a personal note for each teacher.

The whole set of gifts cost me about $10, and I'm hoping it will make a big impact, and will help them all feel appreciated, even as the year is just getting underway. I plan to do things like this several times throughout the year, not just around the holidays.

How did you get ready for the first day of school?

My Favorite Mommy Tip - Juice Box Wings

A friend recently introduced me to the concept of "wings" on a juice box. I wish that I could claim this tip as my own, it's that good. Ok, so I may have been the last person in the world to hear of this concept, but I know there have to be other fresh off the truck mommies who haven't, right? Right? Bueller?

Ok so anyway, here it is - Juice Box "Wings":

Just fold up the little cardboard tabs on the side, and have your child hold the box by the "wings."

Brilliant!

It keeps them from squeezing the box and wearing the juice! And they think it's pretty cool.

What's your favorite "Mommy Tip?"

Allergies, Part 2

Like I mentioned in this post, Cooper was tested for allergies. And it was a very traumatic experience. For me. I had to hold the poor thing down while they took four viles of blood. Ouch! (That's the sound of his Skechers kicking my thighs). Yes, it was a painful experience for him, but I am so thankful I did it.

Let me start from the beginning...

My pediatrician had always said that, because of his severe excema, it was probable that Cooper would have allergies. She even suggested at 18 months that I have him tested, because I was nervous about peanuts especially. But I just didn't want to put my baby through that experience if I didn't have to. So I told her I was going to bring a peanut butter sandwich with me to his two year appointment. She laughed.

I think she thought I was kidding.

I wasn't. I whipped that sandwich out at our 2 year check-up, and had him take a bite. He seemed to do fine, just complaining that something was stuck in his throat. We figured it was the texture he didn't like, and that was that. Yay, he wasn't allergic to peanuts! Since then he has had the same reaction when eating anything with nuts, and eventually would refuse it, saying he didn't like it. I started to get suspicious...

Fast forward to a few weeks ago.

Our babysitter had a friend stop by with a dog. Now, I knew Coop had sensitive skin and that if a dog were to lick his face, it may irritate him a bit, but just for a few minutes. This time was different.

I got a call from Rick as I was getting ready to go home from work, telling me that my son was having an allergic reaction. I asked if he was breathing, which he was. Rick told me his eyes were swollen and he was sneezing, and red and blotchy. I hurried home to see my son sitting on the couch, eyes almost swollen shut, skin red and itchy, looking so very uncomfortable. He was most definitely having an allergic reaction.

Scared the H-E-double hockey sticks out of me.

I scooped him up and took him to urgent care. He was back to normal within a couple of hours, and without medicine, but I was convinced now that we needed to have the testing done.

So, here's the results:
Highly allergic to DOGS (hence the reaction to the friend's dog)
Moderately allergic to CATS, PEANUTS, WALNUTS, SHRIMP, DUST, AND MOLD

I am now the proud parent of an allergic kid. I'm nervous because I've never had to deal with allergies myself for anyone in my family, other than Rick's daughter Gracie who is also allergic to peanuts. So we have become a no peanut household. We're preparing to see an allergist to determine the severity and preventative steps and to see if there's anything else to be worried about. In the meantime, I've got an Epi-pen, and a year's supply of Benadryl, just in case.

Allergies, Excema and Medical History in Adoption

One of the fears I have always had as an adoptive parent, even before Cooper arrived, was allergies. I realize that even with a bio child, there can be allergies that are unexpected, but with a child who was adopted, there is a lot of family history that you may not know. In my case, I know very little.

When a child is removed from the bio parents care, an extensive medical history is requested from the bio parents. Both parents were present to give information, but the BM was very unsure of her family's history. BD was a little more helpful, but still lacking quite a bit of information. So I have been constantly worried about what could potentially pop-up in the future.

Allergies & Excema, Part One:
My little guy had severe eczema as an infant. It was so bad that he got infections twice on his poor little cheeks, and required rounds of antibiotics. He would also get severe diaper rashes that turned almost immediately into yeast infections, requiring more steroids and antibiotics.

This picture was taken at his baptism, when he was four months old. See how red his cheeks are? That's after four days of antibiotics, and lots of this stuff:

Eucerin Calming Cream. It was recommended by the Dermatologist when the Aquaphor just made his condition worse. If you have a child with excema, this stuff rocks!

Thankfully, Coop seems to have outgrown the worst of it, but we still take precautions with his skin.


Because of the seriousness of his skin condition, our pediatrician suspected he would have allergies as well, so last week, finally, we had him tested. More about the results in my next post. Stay tuned...

My Summer Vacation

I love summer. I take a week off each summer and try to do as much as I can, even if it's local. It helps me to recharge, and "fill my cup" as Rick says (smart guy, that man of mine!). This past week was no exception.

I decided to take a week off from blogging as well, but now I'm back and ready to share some of our adventures. I spent a lot of time loving on this guy:

Waiting in line for Midway Mania at Disney's California Adventure

We spent a few days down in San Diego at Seaport Village and Sea World.

We forgot our Sea World tickets in the hotel room (oops), but we were able to get them reprinted (thankfully) at the Guest Services window, since they had been purchased online and were under our names.

We also spent a couple of days enjoying our Disneyland Resort Annual Passes. We spent time at both parks, and Cooper got to do several NEW things - like Pirates of the Caribbean, and Midway Mania!

All through the rides, he kept saying "Mommy, this is fun!" with a huge smile on his face. Melted my heart, and I was so grateful to be able to take the time off to spend with him. He is talking like a "kid" now, not just like a toddler, and before I know it he will be off to Kindergarten. Is it just me, or do the days go by faster when you have kids?

We ate lunch on the Seal Beach Pier, had a few playdates and had some 3rd birthday photos done. I'll post some of those soon. I've been spending some time getting things together for the big birthday party. I'm so excited and can't wait to share the whole party with you!

What did you do on your summer vacation?

Posts coming up: Birthday photos, Allergies, and Adoption Fears...

The Big Boy Room Reveal

Cooper moved into a big boy bed in February, and I *FINALLY* finished it!!

Here's what we started with:

 A not so eclectic mix of whatever.

And woods that didn't really match.

We needed two beds as Gracie, Rick's daughter, is with us on weekends. This posed a bit of a dilemma since the room couldn't be too much "boy" because a little girl would be sharing it.

I decided I would start with the bedding.

After much, much blog and web surfing I settled on bedding from Pottery Barn Kids. This was definitely a splurge, but so worth it. Their coordinating "Morgan" bedding made it easy to mix and match a quilt for Cooper, and a duvet for Gracie, since we already had a comforter for her. The sheets are PBK "Bedtime Stories" with animals reading story books - too cute!

And here's the finished space!

(Sorry I had to leave the railing on the bed...it's just too much of a pain to put back up!!)

The curtains behind the beds add great texture and height. Doesn't hurt that they were on 80% clearance at JCPenney! Yup, that's right, the curtains were under $10 per set! They also help to cover up the ugly blinds. Thanks to Wendy at The Shabby Nest for the great ideas!

The artwork above the beds is from Tiddliwink Designs, where you can find affordable PBK coordinating artwork. It was just $20 for four 8x10 prints! She designed it specifically at my request, since she didn't have the Bedtime Stories line on her website.

I made the headboards myself with fabric and batting from Joann's (love that 40% off coupon!) and pieces of plywood that I had cut at Home Depot.

The dresser was a Country Roads find, from my friend Kate's space. I love the element of shabbiness it adds to all of the new pieces in the room.

The lamp is another PBK piece, purchased with a gift card after Cooper arrived.

The "Wish" sign was on clearance at Marshall's.

All you Mommies know how much artwork comes home with your kids. Well, I've seen many ideas for how to display them out there in the bloggy world, but I decided to work with what I had on hand.

Nails, twine and clothespins. Works for me!

I also found these cute hooks at Ikea for $4. Perfect for hats and backpacks.

Now, for the best part of the room.

I present...

The reading corner!

This is my absolute favorite part of the room!!!

I wanted to keep with the Bedtime Stories theme, and since we have so many books (this is only half of our stash) I wanted a reading corner.

The shelving unit is from Ikea, and was incredibly easy to put together. The green chair was a gift card purchase from PBK. The Stitch artwork was a splurge from Disneyland right after Cooper came home...it has special meaning to me with the adoption theme. And of course since Stitch is reading a book, it fits in with my room theme as well!

The rocking chair was mine when I was little, made by my grandfather when I was just a year old.

And the tree, oh yes, the tree.

A few months ago Gracie told me we needed a tree. I finally obliged!

I work for a church, and last week was VBS. The African theme was "Under the Baobab Tree" and our fantastic youth group created these amazing trees to decorate our campus. I called dibs on a few of the branches and part of a trunk on the first day! It's just crumpled brown kraft paper, a little brown paint and strips of green tulle tied to the branches.

Cooper was beyond excited. As I was stapling the branches up (yup, staple gunned to the walls and the ceiling), he was running up and down the hall yelling "Thank you! Thank you!" Not bad - an unpromted thank you from my three year old!

So there it is, Cooper's Big Boy Room! What do you think?

Before:

After!